Monday, July 25, 2011

The Cartoon Historian Presents: Cartoon What If's

This Is A Cartoon Historian Special Presentation

*cartoon historian theme plays*

*All 5 members of the CH Family are sitting at a round table*

Welcome to another totally awesome Cartoon Historian Special. I'm joined by Mina,Sailor Moon,Gohan Son,and of course Tom Z.

Mina: We also have 2 very special guests here today. Here they are From Megas XLR,Coop and Jamie.

*Coop and Jamie enter as the Megas XLR theme plays. the music shuts off as the duo shake hans and high fives the CH family*

Welcome gentlemen.

*Jamie and Coop take their seats at the round table*

Jamie: Good to be here.

Sailor Moon: Thanks for joining us.

Coop: Hey The Historian owed me for not putting the Megas XLR theme on his top 5 list.

Jamie: Well that sucks. Our theme is the best there is.

Gohan: That's debatable.

Jamie: Oh yeah,well what do you consider to be the best cartoon theme?

Gohan: How about Kappa Mikey's theme? It's very catchy and it's easy to learn.

Coop: Lame!

Jamie: You gotta be kidding.

Tom Z: As a longtime fan of Megas XLR,I must say it's a pleasure to have you both here with us today.

Coop: No prob,dude,Now lets get this party started,I'm starting to get really bored here.

Alrighty,here's the first What If. What If The New Thundercats Cartoon Was A Continuation Of THe 80's Toon?

Mina: It would rock. Though,it would be pretty short lived.lol! Mumm-Ra would be released from the Book of Omens and he'd want some serious revenge. We may even find out what happened to the Thundercats that were Missing from the final scene.

Gohan: Same here,it will be very short lived,because most of the 80's cartoon is resolved. Villains like The Mutants,Lunataks,and Capt. Kraker have gotten closure,bad closure,but closure nonetheless. Theres just very few story left to tell in that series. Best start from scratch with an all new series.

Sailor Moon: Agreed with Gohan and Mina.

Tom Z: Ditto. Though it would've been nice if the Mutants and Lunatacks got better closure. If the series was a continuation,I guess they could've given them proper closure.

Coop: True that,sending these baddies to the circus was a stupid thing to do.

Jamie: Shameful,really. And what the hell was up with that Monster the Ancient Spirits of Evil sent after Lion-O after he beat Mumm-Ra anyway?

The New Thundercats Cartoon will be airing this friday. But watch it online and Not on Cartoon Network. Ok,next 'What If'. What If He-Man and She-Ra acted like a typical brother and sister duo.

Mina: That wouldv'e been awful for them. They would fight eachother more than the Baddies.

Sailor Moon: So true.While the heroes are fighting with eachother,Hordak and Skeletor would take over.

Coop: I heard the 2k2 series was gonna have that storyline...but it never happened due to the series being canned.

Tom Z: I think I heard something about that too.

Jamie: Sucks that the 2K2 series was canned. I liked it better than the 80's toon.

Gohan: Yeah. I agree with everyone here.

Ok,Next What If. What if Stimpy was the smart one and Ren was the moron.

Mina: The result would be the same,i think.

Sailor Moon: I haven't watched that show in god knows when.

Gohan: With Stimpy intellegent,the show would never be the same.

Tom Z: That's true. It'd also be a bit of a stereotype too. Y'know,Dog = stupid and Cat = intellegent.

Coop: Yeah. Imagine Stimpy slapping around Ren..tha'd kill him. He's such a small and weak dog.

Jamie: yeah.

Moving on. What If Batman The Animated Series was like the Adam West TV show.

Mina: That would be one of the the dumnest things ever. The series would be lame.

Sailor Moon: Yeah. He's supposed to be the Dark Knight,not the Dork Knight.

Tom Z: The show would be very lighthearted and corny. Definatly unlike the Batman we know and love.

Gohan: Yeah,Pathetic. I like adam Wests Batman,but I'm glad the Animated series ended up like it did.

Coop: True that. I don't want my Robin saying Holy fill in the blank

Jamie: Amen.

Ok. What If The Justice League was lead by Batman instead of Superman.

Coop: I'll go first. The Justice League would do a bit better.

Jamie: Yeah,even though he's not a team player,he would make a better leader. He's smarter and more resorsefull than Ol' Supes.

Tom Z: Yeah. Being the strongest doesn't nessesarily mean you're the best leader.

Gohan: I hear that. My Dad is one of the strongest guys in the universe and he's a very inept leader.

Sailor Moon: Kinda the opposit of me.

Mina: I agree with everyone here. Bats would make a better leader.

Ok next up: What if Commander Ferral found the Swat Kats secret base and found out who they were.

Jamie: Pass.

Coop: Aw c'mon,Jamie don't tell me you don't know who the Swat Kats are.

Jamie:I do but I've never seen an episode.

Coop: Dude you need to chill on Youtube more. Anyway,here's my 2 cents. Ferral would tottaly bust them. end O' story. The Turbo Kat would be impounded and the Hanger would be sealed. And finnaly Ferral will be a happy cat for finally busting his long time nemesis'.

Tom Z: That's the way I picture it too. Calli would likely be shocked. The press would definatly have a field day.

Gohan: I imagine so. All of Mega Cat City has yerned for the knowlage of the Swat Kats identity.

Mina: Ferrel would be forced to release them though. As Mayor Manx will grant them a full pardon once the Ciry is under attack and the Enforcers are Powerless to do much.

Sailor Moon: Too true.

Great points you guys. Ok,next one. What if Aang didn't run away from the Air Temple.

Mina: Simple. Aang would've been wiped out along with the Other Air Nomads.

Tom Z: Yeah. Then Aang would be reborn as a member of the Water Tribe and would be a Waterbender.

Sailor Moon: So it would be called Avatar: The Young Water Bender instead of Avatar:The Last Air Bender.

Gohan: The show would be very different,to say the least. Wouldn't be the same without Aang and team Avatar.

Coop: Plus. There's a big chance that the Fire Nation would dominate the world. Without Airbending,the Avatar is weaker than he or she would normally be.

Jamie: Well Zuko Could become a good guy and try to stop the Firelord with the Avatar. Though the possibility of them suceeding would be slim.

I agree. Ok next up: What if Saban Moon Did get the green light from Toei and the networks.

Sailor Moon: Ugh! did you really have to bring That up?

Mina: I think it would be hated by the Sailor Moon fan community,even moreso than the Sailor Moon dub. And more openly mocked then the Mega Man cartoon.

Tom Z: Hey,I liked both the Mega Man cartoon and the Sailor Moon dub. They were flawed,but that doesn't mean they sucked.

Gohan: I liked the Mega Man Cartoon as well..despite how weird it was. Anyhow,Saban Moon would fail in the ratings and only get 1 season.

Jamie: I recently saw that video on Youtube.. *shutters* Gave me a nightmare.

Coop: Yeah,though Compared to that Bratz cartoon,which Did air by the way,Saban Moon is a thing of beauty.

Amen Coop. Ok. What if The 80's Ninja Turtles show was more like the Mirage comics.

Coop: It would be an 80's version of the 2K3 series. Nuff Said.

Jamie: Coops right.

Gohan: Agree with Coop.

Tom Z: I don't think Bebop,Krang,and Rocksteady would be in it. Since they were never in the Mirage comic.

Mina: Plus I doubt the ratings wouldn't be as high as they could be.

Sailor Moon: Thank god it was different. I love Bebop and Rocksteady.

I hear ya,Moon Girl. Ok next one. What if In the 80's He-Man show,Adam never reunited with his Twin Sister,Adora.

Sailor Moon: My life would be altered alot. No reunion of the Twins means Adora doesn't get her Power Sword,and if that never happened,then She-Ra doesn't exist.

Jamie: I've never been a fan of She-Ra or the 80's MotU.

Tom Z: If She-Ra never existed,then Adora would remain with the Hoard and Etheria would fall under Hordak's rule...unless He-Man stops him. But I don't see how,since Skeletor schemes 24/7 and the defenders of Eternia must be prepared for anything from that Bonehead.

Gohan: That would suck if She-Ra never existed.

Coop: Yeah,the She-Ravers wouldn't exist either. Come to think of it,Neither would Xena Warrior Princess. Thank God te Twins Reunited.

Mina: I think you're overreacting a bit Coop. But,I gotta agree somewhat. Without She-Ra,roles of Female Heroes would never be the same.

Right. Thank God She-Ra exists. Anyway. What if Darkwing Duck was less of a comidic show and a more serious one.

Jamie: Don't look at me I never seen that show.

Coop: Seriously dude,ya gotta watch Youtube more. Darkwing Duck is all kinds of awesome. And if it were less comidic,it would be almost a clone of Batman:the Animated Series.

Tom Z: True that. As much as I love B:TAS,I have to say that attitude wouldn't fit that well in a world of talking animals...especially Ducks.

Gohan: The villains would be more deadly. Especially Negaduck.

Sailor Moon: Nothing would be the same. In fact the show would loose it's charm if it was more serious and less comical.

Mina: Yeah. And besides,Disney doesn't put Animals into dark enviornments. The closest thing we came to a darker Darkwing Duck is that one episode where Gosalyn travels through time and ends up in an alternate future.

Darkwarrior Duck. Even as a Post-apocolyptic Batman clone,he was still a chucklehead. Ok next up. What if Prof. Utonium's monkey,Jojo,was tame.

Jamie: If JoJo was tame,there would be no lab accident and the Girls would've never been born.

Coop: Neither would Mojo Jojo.

Gohan: Crime would rock Townsville. Everyone would suffer,even without Mojo.

Tom Z: True that,with out the PPG's townsville would be doomed. The Professor and JoJo would be hurt or killed.

Sailor Moon: JoJo's moneyshines were a good thing for Townsville.

Mina: Yeah. Though If the city was in danger the Professor would eventually create superheros..either by chemicals or by technology.

Science matches on no matter what. Ok. next up. What if Synergy never existed. Hey,A Jem what If.

Jamie: Pass,I don't watch that show.

Coop: As awesome as it looked,I myself never really got into that show.

Gohan: Never watched the show either.

Sailor Moon: The Missfits would Rule,because Jem and the Holograms can't exist without Synergy.

Mina: Yeah the show would be called The Pizzazz and the Misfits. Not a cool idea for a show.

Tom Z: Though it would be interesting. In my opinion.

Ok. moving on. What if The WCW got into the SatAM cartoon act like the WWE did.

Jamie: That would be stupid.

Coop: Right-on bro. I bet it would be even stupider than Hulk Hogan's Rock and Wrestling.

Gohan: I don't know guys. I mean isn't WCW supposed to be more serious than the WWF/WWE?

Tom Z: It Doesn't seem like their style to make one.

Coop: Yeah,but the Characters would be dumbed down even moreso than the WWE characters were.

Mina: I seriously doubt the WCW would even want a Saturday Morning program based on their wrestlers. I agree with Tom,It's not their style.

Sailor Moon: I'm not much of a Wrestling fan.

True,Mina. The WWF/WWE was always meant to be the Fun Wrestling Org....and that's why they were Number one. Too bad they suck today. TNA is even worse. Anyway here's the next what if. What if Samus Aran was in the Captain N animated series.

Jamie: Pass,I never liked that show.

Coop: Right. Even if Samus was in the show she'd be dumbed down. I bet either a dumn blonde,a Dude,or a radical who likes to fight and blow stuff up.

Tom Z: Plus there would be no need for Captain N,and the show wouldn't be the same. Though,I must admit when they ported Link over to Captain N,they made him more mature. So maybe they would've kept Samus the same way.

Gohan: I've only seen 1 episode and didn't really like it much. The concept is a cool idea,but it wasn't executed correctly.

Sailor Moon: Well,Samus was in the comic. So maybe she'd act like her comic counterpart.

Mina: The Comic was more serious and lacked the stupid,yet funny, plots and dialogue. Face it,Samus would be either dumbed down or a fish out of water. I'm glad she wasn't included.

Yeah.Though Tom has a point about Link,which brings us to our next What if. What if Link acted like his game counterpart in the Zelda animated series.

Tom Z: He'd be strong and brave. But silent and somewhat boring.

Coop: Yeah,despite how lame some of his jokes are..I kinda like him.

Jamie: Yeah,but his "Exuuuuse Me,Princess!" line kinda got annoying after awhile.

Gohan: The show would be boring if Link was like his game Counterpart. As lame as his humor is and as whiny as he can be,I kinda find this Link likable.

Mina: Ganon was awesome in that show though...at least I thought so. He got way uglier in Captain N.

Sailor Moon: I found this Link annoying. Thank god they fixed this in Captain N.

Ok,next up. What if There was a G.I. Joe/Transformers Crossover movie.

Coop: That would Rock.

Jamie: Yeah. Starcream and Destro would rule as a team.

Gohan: Not to mention Flint and Ultra Magnus,Duke and Optimus Prime,Scarlett and Bumblebee,Lady Jaye and Arcee,and Cobra Commander and Megatron.

Tom Z: Baroness and Soundwave would be nice too. Bulkhead and Roadblock as well.

Mina: Yeah. The Joes would be much better human companions then those annoying kids.

Sailor Moon: I'm not too much of a Transformers fan or a G.I.Joe one.

That's cool,Moon Girl. Anyway,What if Fairy Godparents didn't exist.

Coop: Timmy Turner would be screwed royaly.

Jamie: Yeah. His life would be total hell.

Gohan: I can Imagine. Without Magic,Timmy Turner wouldn't be able to do anything cool.

Tom Z: Thus Making the series pretty boring. The fairies made up more than half the entertainment of the show. Especially Cosmo,Wanda,and Jorgen.

Sailor Moon: I wish I had fairy Godparents.

Mina: Though,Denzel Crocker would still be Fairy-crazy.

Yup. Next What if. Kim Possible acted like a typical American Teenager.

Coop: She wouldn't be that cool. She wouldn't be much of a heroine.

Jamie: She'd care more about teen stuff,than saving the world. Sad really.

Tom Z: Agreed. The show wouldn't be that great and be canned after a couple of eps. I'm glad Kim's the way she is.

Sailor Moon: And don't forget about Ron and Rufus. Their lives would be effected too.

Gohan: And all of those villains will run amok.

Mina: The entire show would suck. I'd be pathetic.

Yeah. Thank God,Ditzney didn't make Kim Possible like as normal teen girl. Ok. Next up,a Shego What If. What if Shego got her own series.

Jamie: That would totally Kick Ass.

Coop: Yeah,too bad Disney is to stupid now to make one.

Gohan: Agreed.

Tom Z: If Iger and his chronies weren't so mentally pathetic,Shego would've had her own series alraedy.

Mina: Yeah. Shego Rocks.

Sailor Moon: Too bad,Iger doesn't.

Yup. Ok,next up. What if The 80's Shredder Never met up with Krang.

Tom Z: The Turtles and Splinter would've never have mutated,because it was the Shredder who used the mutagen,which belonged to Krang,to turn The hereoes into what they are. The Shredder would eventually find Splinter aka Hamato Yoshi and kill him and the Turtles.

Gohan: I see it that way too.

Coop: If that happened,it would be the only TMNT continuity where the Shred-Head wins.

Jamie: Too true.

Mina: A very tragic ending to our favorite Green Teens. Plus,no Bebop and Rocksteady.

Sailor Moon: Yeah,but luckily Shredder met Krang and the Ninja Turtles,Bebop,and Rocksteady came to be.

The 80's show is an old fave of mine. Ok here's the next What if. What if Knuckles and Amy were in not only AoSTH,but also Sonic SatAM.

Jamie: Pass. I never watched either of these shows.

Coop: Dude,I swear to god,I'm gonna make you watch Youtube later. Anyway,If Amy and Knuckles were in The Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog,they would be interesting characters. Amy would chase after Sonic in every episode,while Sonic and Tails avoid her...or atleast try too. And Knux would be guardian of the Master Emerald on the Floating Island,decieved by Robotnik,like in the games. In SatAM,Amy would have a crush on Sonic and concider Sally her bitter rival of love. Knux himself would be the same basically.

Tom Z: You took the words right out of my mouth,Coop.

Gohan: Yes,that's exactly what might happen.

Mina: Coop,you are amazing.

Sailor Moon: Yeah.

Nicely put Coop. ok next What If. What if there was a Star Wars animated series that continued after Return of the Jedi.

Coop: It would be a hell of alot better than Clone Wars.

Jamie: Word.

Tom Z: It would rock to see Luke Skywalker and Friends in their later years.

Gohan: Yeah. Luke would likely start a Jedi school,Han Solo and Leia would Marry,and Chewie would...well,do what Wookies do. The 2 Droids,R2-D2 and C-3PO,would likely live with Luke.

Mina: I see it that way too. If such a show wes made,It would be awesome. Though,I wonder who the villains will be. Palpentine is dead and theres no one I can think of besides him and Vader who's currently on the Dark Side.

Sailor Moon: Maybe it could be a new type of enemy.

May The Force Be with Anyone who atemps to make this cartoon a reality. Anyway,here's the next What If. What if Cartoon Network and Disney never strayed from there roots.

Gohan: They would stay great.

Tom Z: For Cartoon Network it would Be American Cartoons,Toonami,and absolutly No Adult Swim or Live Action garbage.

Coop: Yeah and My show would be on for a couple of more seasons.

Jamie: Chicks Dig Giant Robots.

Sailor Moon: For Disney,we'd have awesome shows 24/7. No Music videos,no Teeny-Bopper trash,and no Disney XD.

Mina: God I miss the old days of Disney. Damn You,Iger!

Amen to that. And Damn Stewie Snyder too. Anyway,What if The Superfriends Show lacked those 2 annoying teenagers and their stupid dog.

Jamie: I never payed attention to that show.

Coop: Same here. I watched The Challange of the Superfriends,though. It was decent,campy,but decent.

Gohan: I hated that show. They tried to mix Scooby-Doo with DC. Ugh!

Tom Z: Had that show lacked the teens and pooch,it would've been a bit better. Watchable. However,with or without those 3 extra characters,the show is still pretty flawed.

Mina: Yeah. Hannah-Barbera made one too many Superfriends shows.

Sailor Moon: You Said it,Mina.

Right. Ok next. What if The Teen Titans lacked Robin on their team.

Jamie: They'd suck.

Coop: Well,Not nessesarily,Jamie. They'd still win,but not as much.

Tom Z: Robin is like Batman,in a sence. It's his cunning,heart,and leadership skills that make the Titans victorious every time they go into battle. Robin may not rely on superpowers,but he doesn't need them. He makes up for it with his amazing agility and use of his utility belt.

Gohan: That's right. Robin is the Ideal leader of the Titans. They would fall apart without him.

Sailor Moon: Just like the Sailor Senshi would fall apart without me.

Mina: Or Stefan would fall apart without me.

Funny,Mina. Anyways,you guys are right about Robin. He rocks. Next up: What if The Thundercats never went to 3rd Earth,but to a different planet in the first episode.

Jamie: Things would be very different for sure.

Coop: Such as,different Allies,which will drasically alter the Thundercats way of life. For instantce,The Robear Berbals helped built the Cats Lair,however since the Berbals don't exist on the new planet,the Cats would either build the Lair themselves or search for help. As for enemies,the Mutants followed the Thundercats,so they would still be the main enemies and Most likely the Only familiar foes. Mumm-Ra and the Beserkers wouldn't exist on the planet. I'm not sure about the Lunataks though.

Tom Z: Wow a Thundercats without Mumm-Ra would suck. Though I'm sure there would be a similar foe on the new planet. As for the Cats Lair,The Thundercats would eventually meet up with some allies who know how to build and the Cats Lair would be built,though the look may be a little different. Allies are allies. The new guys may act and work differently,but their purpous would remain the same.

Gohan: Yeah. Catle Plun-Darr would also be built by a different crew. The Brutemen were the ones used for slave labor in the true continuity. So in this fake new continuity,the Mutants must seek out and enslave similar creatures.

Sailor Moon: All and all,the Thundercat-Mutant war would pretty much be the same. I think the only things that would be different,besides the planet,would be the allies,look of Cats Lair,and the other villains. Though I'm not really sure about the Lunataks.

Mina: Also Pumyra,Lynx-O,and Bengali won't meet up with the Main team,as they landed on 3rd Earth and since the Main team are on a different planet,these 3 are gonna remain slaves to the Berserkers. And Mumm-Ra would rule everything.

That sucks. good thing the Thundercats went to 3rd earth. Ok next What if. What if Phineas and Ferb found out about Perry the Platypus' secret.

Jamie: They'd have their memories whiped by the Agency,ala M.I.B.

Coop: That sounds about right.

Gohan: They'd be amazed at the fact that their pet is really a Secret Agent and Major Monogram would allow them to join Perry on a single mission...and afterwards whipe their memories of the whole thing,like Jamie said.

Tom Z: Agent P. is one cool semi-aquatic mammal.

Mina: Phineas and Ferb are the Only thing worthwatching on Disney these days.

Sailor Moon: True that.

Ok. What if the NY Gov. strongly disapproved of the Ghostbusters and did something about it.

Sailor Moon: The Ghostbusters would be out of buisness and even arrested. They'd be in jail and the Ghosts would run amok.

Gohan: Ask a simple quetion,get an obvious answer.

Tom Z: Well said Moon girl.

Coop: I was gonna say the same thing.

Jamie: The Spooks would haunt every city in the world and no one would beable to do anything about it.

Mina: The Gov would get impeached and the new gov. will grant a full pardon to the Ghostbusters and soon after,they will be back in buisness.

Like it or not,The World needs the Ghostbusters. Ok next. What if Invader Zim was very dangerous and not baffoonish.

Coop: We'd be screwed. A competant Zim would pretty much dominate Earth easily and fall infavor with the Tallest.

Jamie: Plus,The Tallest would give Zim a different robot assistant. One that isn't crazy. So no Gir.

Tom Z: The show wouldn't be that funny and would loose its charm. Not to mention the the series would be short lived.

Gohan: Not to mention boring.

Mina: I'll take Baffonish Zim over a Competant one anyday.

Sailor Moon: You said it.

This brings us to our next What If. What if Gir was Sane.

Jamie: That would eliminate 55% of the funny.

Coop: Agreed.

Tom Z: A sane Gir wouldn't be very entertaining. Gir's psycotic ramblings and crazy antics make up a good portion of the show's comedy.

Gohan: A sane Gir would never be liked either. It's because he's a nutjob,that Gir is loved so much.

Sailor Moon: Yeah: He cracks me up. no need to change his personality.

Mina: So it's settled. Gir should stay Insane.

Crazy Gir = Entertaining,Sane Gir = Boring. Next up. What if The Brain was without Pinky.

Coop: Brain might succeed in taking over the world.

Jamie: He'd either do it himself or have a competant assistant.

Tom Z: The show would suck,period. Brain without Pinky,would be like Toonami without Anime.

Gohan: The Brain needs Pinky and Pinky needs The Brain. 'Nuff said.

Sailor Moon: The only reason I watched that show was because of Pinky. Narf!

Mina: That mouse is very funny.

Agreed. ok were are in the final bunch of What ifs. What if Doug stayed with Nickelodeon.

Jamie; I'd likely stay the same.

Coop: Yeah,there would be some differences,but I think the storylines,for the most part,would be the same as the Disney version of the show.

Tom Z: Yeah. Nick would use the same Storylines that Disney used,though they would add their own twist. If Nick still owened Doug,the show would likely get 2 extra seasons,before being scrapped. Plus,Billy West would still be doing Doug's voice.

Gohan: Yeah. I heard he didn't like the direction Disney was taking the series. How many seasons of Disney's Doug were there,anyway?

Mina: I think 2.

Sailor Moon: for the record,I like Disney's Doug. It had charm.

Yeah,but Nick's Doug was better. Ok 3 more what ifs to go. What if Cartoon Network gave Toonami hosts Tom and Sara their own series.

Coop: Tha'd be awesome.

Jamie: Totally.

Gohan: I'd watch it.

Sailor Moon: Me too.

Tom Z: Well,it would be cool,but realistically the Network Execs wouldn't go for the idea..you know how retarded they can be.

Mina: Yeah. The fans may like it,but the Execs never listen to us.

True that. Personally,I'd love to see a Tom show. Anyway,here's the next What if. What if The Bratz show was still airing...with new episodes.

Coop: Ugh! Please,dude I just ate.

Jamie: I think I'm gonna puke.

Gohan: That would be a total nightmare

Tom Z: Why the hell was that show created again?

Sailor Moon: To pander to the 5% of girls who like Bratz.

Mina: Some one get the barf bucket,I think I'm gonna blow chunks.

I get to use it first. Ok let's give our stomaches some relief and move on to our final What If. What if Darkstalkers:The Animated Series got a 2nd season.

Jamie: Why? that show was horrid.

Coop: but the villains were great though. they're very funny.

Tom Z: Maybe if they just used the 5 Baddies: Pyron,Anikaris,Raptor,Morrigan,and Dimitri,they could turn it into a comedy.

Gohan: Those 5 kinda remind me of the Ginyu Force...except less competant fighters.

Mina: I think the villains were the only thing worh watching in that show.

Sailor Moon: yeah. I don't like Harry Gimore.

Well we are out of time. I'd like to thank my panel for their participation and opinions. Until next time,for Coop,Jamie,and the Cartoon Historian family,I'm the Cartoon Historian saying Stay Gold.

*CH theme plays,fades to black,and credits roll*

Monday, July 18, 2011

Cartoon Historian Top 5: Stefan's List of Cartoons That Should Have Never Been Made

Ok,now it's my turn. Here is my list of Cartoons that Shouldn't have existed.

5 - The Total Drama Series: Everything is bad about this series. Bad Acting,Bad Artwork,Terrible Writing,Stupid Concept,and of course shitty voices. But what more can you expect from a Canadian Cartoon.

4 - The Superfriends: Not Challange of the Superfriends,I'm talking about the series with those 2 annoying teenagers and their retarded dog. Ugh! What the hell were the execs at Hannah-Barbera on anyway? DC should've Never ok'ed this show.

3 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:Fast Foward: The lowest lowpoint of the TMNT 2K3 show. The stories were horrible and the most of the new villains were retarded,and whats worse,most of this stuff carried over to Ninja Turtles: Back to the Sewers.

2 - Iron Man: Armored Adventures: I'm gonna go ahead and agree with Tom 100% on this one. Plus,why the hell did Marvel turn to Canada for their Iron Man cartoon? What's wrong with the U.S.? Plus,Iron Man is American Not Canadian.

1 - Bratz: Sailor Moon is 100% right about this disgusting show. First time I saw it,I wanted to throw up.

There's a hell of alot more shows that didn't deserve to be made,so this was a tough choice to make.

Mina: y'know this was kinda fun. plus it gave the rest of us something to do.

Yeah,we'll definatly try something similar again sometime. Well that's gonna do it for this special mini-series of The Top 5. Hope you enjoyed. Stay Gold.

Mina: Later,dudes.

Cartoon Historian Top 5: Mina's List of Cartoons That Should Have Never Been Made

Mina: Hey guys,Mina here. And today I'm gonna present you with My personal "Cartoons That Shouldn't Have Been Made" list. Here we go.

5 - Kick Buttowski: A low point in Disney's animation. The artstyle is nothing but crappy,the shows are badly writen and the acting is pathetic.

4 - Fishooks: Putrid is the only worthy name for this show. Disney has definatly fallen from grace in the Animation department as well. R.I.P. Disney Cartoons :(

3 - Fanboy and Chumm-Chumm: This show deserves the WTH Award! This Retarded show made my brain ache real bad. Nickelodeon you trully Suck!

2 - Back at the Barnyard: A retarded movie that did Not deserve a TV series. Shame on you Nick!

1 - Adventure Time: This show is total crap. The writing,the concept,the art style,the acting,and the Voices all Suck. This show is Lame X Infinity and should've never been made.

Mina: Great list huh? Next up is the final one,made by the Cartoon Historian Himself. Can't wait to see his pics. Until,next time. Later dudes.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Cartoon Historian Top 5: Gohan's List of Cartoons That Should Have Never Been Made

Gohan: Hey guys,Gohan here. It's now time for my Top 5 list. Ok,here we go.

5 - Darkstalkers: The Animated Series: I don't know why this series even exisists. The stories were mostly bad and the artwork wasn't even that good. Plus,I hated Harry Grimore. Though Felicia looked nice.

4 - Star Wars Clone Wars Seasons 3 and Over: I don't think the Clone Wars lasted that long. the first 2 seasons were good enough. But 3 or more seasons of this show is just overkill.

3 - Justice League Unlimited: The biggest problem with this series is that it had way too many starring superheroes. What they should've done is just stick with the main 7 members and have the other heroes be occasional guest stars. And to make matters worse,Lex Luthor wasdn't even the leader of the Legion of Doom.

2 - Young Justice: *sigh* They should've just made a new teen Titans show. or forget about the whole "sidekick" superhero team theme all together.

1 - Krypto The Superdog: Why whas this lame trash created again?

Gohan: Well that's it for my list. Sorry for it being a tad late. But stay tuned,beacuse Mina will give you her list. See Ya!

Cartoon Historian Top 5: Sailor Moon's List of Cartoons That Should Have Never Been Made

Sailor Moon: Hey everyone,Gohan is still making up his list,so he can't do his presentation at the moment. But,my presentation is all done. So here it is.

5 - Winx Club: THe show is quality challanged. the artwork is bad and the storytelling is way to teeny-bopper. This,in my opinion,is the Worst Sailor Moon clone ever and it bring shame to the magical girl team genre.

4 - The Mighty B: This show was a waste of pen and ink. The writing is also crap. This show is nothing but fail.

3 - Making Fiends: Another stupid Canadian show that has very bad artwork and writing. the artwork looks like a 2-year-old drew it. Pathetic is the only thing to describe this show.

2 - Those Damn Barbie Movies: Seriously,did we Really need those horrible movies about Barbie.

1 - Bratz: That series was disgusting. I practically threw up when I first saw this. A super shame on 4Kids for airing this garbage.

Sailor Moon: Well that does it for my list.

Gohan: Ok,My list is complete.

Sailor Moon: Gohan? What are you doing here?

Gohan: I'm here to deliver my list.

Sailor Moon: Sorry,dude but we're out of time.

Gohan: Damn!

Sailor Moon: Don't worry,Nextime you get to show you're list.

Gohan: That's good.

Sailor Moon: So tune in next time,when Gohan will give you his list.

Gohan: Take care guys.

Sailor Moon: Bye-Bye.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Cartoon Historian Top 5: Tom Z's List of Cartoons That Should Have Never Been Made

Tom Z: Hey,Tom Z here. Welcome to a special presentation of the Top 5. In this multi-part series each member of the Cartoon Historian Family will give you their own personal top 5 list of Cartoons That Should Have Never Been Made.

I'm gonna kick things off with my own list.

5 - Batman: Brave and The Bold: Like every cartoon on CN,this show sucks,plus we already have a Batman show for this generation: The Batman. This show was uneeded and they should've just continued The Batman.

4 - The Ben 10 Sequels: The first Ben 10 wasn't that great and it's sequels are just as bad. Plus,they were far from being needed. I hate it when series get milked to death.

3 - Chaotic: A crappy Canadian cartoon based off of a decent European Card Game. The Artwork and storylines both suck. Being a terrible rip-off of both Yu-Gi-Oh! and Digimon Frontier (digimon season 4) doesn't help things for this show either.

2 - Iron Man: Armored Adventures: This show is a Canadian Bastardization of an American series. And Ironman and co are Canadians living in Canada,they're supposed to be Americans living in America. Now I know how the Japanese felt when 4Kids dubbed their shows. Ugh! Look,I know Iron Man needs a show for this generation,but not this. The Voices and acting are horrible,the music isn't that good and the writing is really retarded. But,despite how pitiful and lame it is,Ironman Armored Adventures is far from being the worst show ever.

1 - Zevo-3: This show was a reatared concept to begin with. It's basically a 30 minute advertisement for Skecherz sneakers. At the moment the show seems to have dissapeared from the line-ups. Lets just hope it stays that way.

Tom Z: Well that's all. Stay tuned for Gohan's picks,followed by Sailor Moon,Mina,and finally the Cartoon Historian himself. I'm Tom Z telling you to Stay Gold.

Bang!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Song Of The Month: 80's G.I. Goe

Tom Z: Hey dudes and dudettes,Tom Z here. I hoped everyone enjoyed the Con coverage. unfortunatly,I had some iomportant things to do,so I couldn't attend. Oh well,maybe next year.

Anyway,I'm gonna be delivering the Song Of The Month this time. So sit back and enjoy the main theme to the 80's G.I. Joe...Extended Movie Edition.

80's G.I.Joe

Well I hope you enjoyed this Awesome tune. This is Tom Z and I'm outta here. Until Next Time,Stay Gold!

Bang!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Retro Con 2011: Wrap-Up.

*It's a beautiful breezy and sunny summer late-morning in New York City.Stefan the Cartoon Historian,Mina,Adult Gohan,and Sailor Moon are in front of MSG,where the Annual 'Retro Con',has ended. Most of the attendees are gone..including the celebs*

Welcome everyone to our Wrap-Up of Retro Con. Well that was an awesome event,wasn't it?

Mina: It sure was. I bought lots of cool stuff and got most of the attending celebs autographs.

Sailor Moon: Me too. Hopefully we'll be able to attend next year's event.

Well that all depends Moon-girl. If the event is close to home and we have the timed,we'll go. if that's not the case,then we can't.

Gohan: Well,I sure had a great time. Too bad there weren't any panels this year.

Yeah,that kinda sucked. Oh,well maybe next year. Ok,guys,What was your absolute favorite part of the convention? For me it was talking to the various celebs. that was cool.

Mina: I liked the Shopping. they had alot of great merchandise.

Sailor Moon: The Arcade,no question.

Gohan: I don't think,I have a favorite aspect. Though,I gotta admit i liked it when the audience heckled Al Khan.

Sailor Moon: I loved that too. If 4KLrap get's the airing rights to my show,I'm gonna assemble my Sailor Senshi and wage an all out assault on the 4Kids HQ.

Mina: Or worse,they could cheat and get the dubbing rights.

Sailor Moon: Nooooooooo!

Don't worry,we the fans won't allow 4Krap...What THe Hell Am I Talkikng About..4Krap Gets Away With Everything and They Get A Free Ride By The Lamestream Media.

Mina: Right,the people never matter in the eyes of the Network Executives...only thing that matters to them is Money and Power.

Gohan: Though sometimes they care for other Media Companies,so they're not completely selfish.

Sailor Moon: So that's why 4Krap is still alive..support from other Media companies.

THat's the theory Moon-Girl. 4Krap Entertainment should've died long ago.Hey,did you guys know that Toonzai's ratings are the lowest for Any program block...They even beat out Adult Swim,and we all know how pathetic That block is. 4Kids please,do us a favor and Die Already!

Mina: Amen!

Sailor Moon: 4Kids Screws Kids!

Gohan: 4Kids Is Crap!

Ok,it's time we beat feet. Stay tuned for more awesome stuff on the Cartoon Historian.

Mina: See Ya.

Gohan: Later,guys.

Sailor Moon: Bye-Bye.

*fades to black,credits roll*

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Retro Con 2011 Day 3: TCH Lesson 30: Fox Kids

*It's the 3rd and Final day of Retro Con,the Tetrad are inside the Con in the main convention room,which isn't that full.No celebs are around yet either*

Welcome to the 3rd and Final day of Retro Con 2011. We are here in a somewhat empty convention room,awaiting some celebs. Tonight,I will be giving my lessons on Fox Kids.

Mina: That should be good.

Sailor Moon: Al Kahn Is here,I saw him in the lobby at the hotel talking with Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Denzel Crocker. So it looks like the rumors were true.

Gohan: Man that sucks.

Sailor Moon: Tell me about it.

Mina: If he interupts our lesson,I'm gonna destroy him.

*chuckles* you go girl. Anyway,like I said the lecture isn't until tonight,so in the meantime we're waiting for celebs.

Mina: I wonder who's gonna show up first? What time is it?

Gohan *checking watch*: It's 10:25am.

Sailor Moon: So it's still early.

Mina: Collectively,how many autographs did we get so far? Just a ballpark figure.

I guess we have around 35-47. I have autograph photos of 80's Skeletor,80's Hordack,Chuck Norris,Mr.T.,Bill Cosby,Shawn Michaels,She-Ra,Lucy Lawless,Mega Man X,Vash the Stampede,The American Ken Masters,Johnny Yong Bosche,and King Koopa.

Mina: Cool,I have the autographs of Hordack,Skeletor,Mr.T,Jimmie Walker,King Koopa,Beetlejuice,Captain Falcon,AoSTH Dr.Robotnik,Vincent Valentine,Cosmo and Wanda,Kevin Sorbo,Astro Boy,Speed Racer,and Sailor Venus aka my twin sister from another mother.

Sailor Moon: I got She-Ra,Lucy Lawless,He-Man,Jaleel White,Jason David Frank,Austin St.John,Princess Daisy,The Mario Bros.,Zero,Goku,Krillin,Mega Man,Supergirl,Spider-Man,Inuyasha,Vash the Stampede,Sonic,Kim Possible and Ron stoppable and Rufus,Sakura Kasugano,and Yuffie Kisaragi.

That's alot of celeb sigs.

Sailor Moon: And I've only just begun. So how about you Gohan?

Gohan: I'm not into autographs,so I don't have any.

Ok,apparently it looks like the celebs aren't gonna show until later. Hey Gohan,when will Vegeta and Bulma get here?

Gohan: They got here late last night and should be signing autographs later this evening.

I got some extra quarters,wanna go to the Arcade?

Sailor Moon: Sure.

Mina: I'm gonna go browse the shop. And maybe buy one last thing.

Gohan: I'm gonna go catch a movie.

Cool. see you soon.

*the team goes their seperate ways. Hours later,the tetrad are back at the main convention room,where the place is packed and the celebs are finally here,signing autographs. stefan and mina are at vegeta and bulma's booth*

We're here with Vegeta,Prince of All Saiyans and his wife Bulma. So Vegeta,what brings you to Retro Con 2011?

Vegeta: I'm here to sign more autographs than Kakarot. He may be better than me at fighting,but my Fanbase is much much bigger.

Bulma: This is so cool. Our fans are the greatest.

So where's Trunks and Bra?

Bulma: Trunks decided to stay home. Retro Con isn't his thing...same with Bra.

Oh.

Mina: Before we go,Vegeta,can we here you say that classic line we love so much?

Vegeta: Forget it.

Mina: C'mon. Hey guys do you wanna here Vegeta's famous epic line.

*croud cheers*

Vegeta: Forget it.

Mina: C'mon.

Vegeta: *sighs* fine. *shouts* It's over Nine Thouussaanndd!!!

*croud cheers and applauds*

Mina: Awesome.

Vegeta: I still hate that line.

*Sailor Moon is at another booth,where Darkwing Duck and Launchpad McQuack are signing autographs*

Sailor Moon:We are here with the one and only Darkwing Duck. Darkwing it's an honor.

Darkwing: I love these conventions,so many fans,so masny autographs to sighn. I love it.

Launchpad: DW is always pleased to see his fans.

Sailor Moon: and his ego get a boost.

Darkwing: Can we talk later? I'm kinda busy with my fans.

*Gohan is at another booth,where Adam West aka the 60's Batman is signing autographs*

Gohan: I'm here with Adam West. Mr.West. it's good to meet you.

Adam West: Well,it's good to be here among the fans and chat with them. I still can't believe that there were so many fans of my old Batman show. Though,I do find it strange to be among cartoon characters,though I've recently gotten used to it.

Gohan: Is this your first Retro Con.

Adam West: as a matter of fact it is. When I first heard of Retro Con,I didn't think anything of it,I thought it was another weirdo convention. But after hearing more about it,I've decided to give it a shot. And now the nastalgic concept of this convention has warmed up to me.

Gohan: That's good to know. Thank you Mr.West for your time.

Adam West: No problem.

*Many Hours later inside the convention auditorium,an announcer,with al khan is at a podeum (with a mike on it) on stage infront of thousands of people..including celebs*

Announcer: Goodevening Retroheads to the 3rd and Final of Retro Con 2011.

*audience cheers*

Announcer: We have a great show for you tonight. Starting with the one and only..Cartoon Historian. Followed by a mini-concert by The Sonic Underground and the comedic stylings of Bill Cosby. But before we get on with tonights entertainment,we are gonna,unfortunatly,here from former Head Hancho of 4Kids Entertainment,Al Khan.

*Croud jeers as khan takes the podium*

Al Khan: Greetings you Nastagia freaks.

*croud jeers*

Al Khan: I'm here to talk to you about the slanderous claims about 4Kids and to set the record strait. 4Kids entertainment isn't as bad as you were lead to believe. 4Kids Entertainment has done good thing that people overlook. We made Anime Mainstream in the US.

*croud jeers*

Al Khan: We made the carrers of many Voice Artists such as Dan Green. We reintroduced America to Dragon Ball Z.

*croud jeers even louder*

Al Khan: And finally we not only introduced Saturday Morning Entertainment to this Generation,but we greatly improved upon Saturday Morning Entertainment in general.

*croud jeers loudly*

Al Khan: Sure we made some minor mistakes in the past,like that One Piece thing,but it's nothing. Those who say that we destroy Anime are blowing things way out of proportion.

*croud jeers*

Al Khan: So you see,4Kids Entertainment isn't an evil organisation..for that mattert niether is Disney of Viacom. So before I go,I'd like you all to forget everything negative you heard about 4Kids,and to remember the awesome things we contributed to american society. And whatever the Cartoon Historian Says is a lie. He's factually challanged.

*croud jeers*

Al Khan: Thank you.

*croud cheers al khan as he leaves the stage..but only because he's leaving. announcer returns to the podium*

Announcer: Now that that's finally over,let's begin with the Cartoon Historian.

*croud cheers as Stefan and Mina walk onstage and take the podeum. the announcer leaves*

Thank's again guys. Tonight,is the final chapter in the Triad of SatAM block lessons. Fox Kids.

*croud cheers*

Fox Kids was Fox's children's programming division and brand name from September 8,1991 until September 7, 2002. It aired programming on Monday–Friday afternoons and Saturday mornings.

Depite it's name,the block also had something for the preteens. It continued to run repeats until September 7, 2002. At that time, Fox put the time slot up for bidding, with 4Kids Entertainment winning and securing Saturday morning programming. Not counting the Big 3 Blocks (which ave been doing the saturday morning thing since the 70's),Fox Kids lived to be the longest running children's television block and managed to have high ratings throughout its run.

Mina: According to James B. Stewart's DisneyWar,Fox Kids' history is intertwined with the history of The Disney Afternoon. DuckTales,the series which served as the launching pad for the Disney Afternoon,premiered in September 1987 on Fox. This was due to the fact that then-Disney chief operating officer Michael Eisner and his then-Fox counterpart,Barry Diller,had worked together at the ABC network and at Paramount Pictures.

Mina:In 1988, Disney purchased a Los Angeles television station,later renaming it as KCAL-TV. The station's new owners wanted DuckTales to be shown,thus taking it away from the Fox-owned station.

Mina: Furious at the breach of contract,Diller pulled DuckTales from all other Fox owned-and-operated stations in the fall of 1989. Diller also encouraged Fox affiliates to do the same,though most did not initially. As Disney went forward in building the Disney Afternoon,Fox then began the process of launching its own unique lineup. On September 8, 1991,Fox's Block became Fox Kids.

Fox Kids was a joint venture between Fox Broadcasting and its affiliates. Originally headed up by division president Margaret Loesch. Originally,the block itself aired programming for an hour Monday through Friday, and three hours on Saturday morning. Soon after officially becoming Fox Kids,the block expanded to an hour and a half on weekdays and four hours on Saturday mornings. In 1992,the weekday block expanded an extra half hour.

Mina: Fox Kids had its own radio lineup too. it was called the Fox Kids Radio Countdown. It lasted two hours and was hosted by Chris Leary. The show consisted of contests, gags, and funny sound effects. It was later renamed to Fox All Access and continues to air currently, mainly as a promotional vehicle for current artists, films, and programs on the primetime Fox schedule.

By 1993,Fox Kids was up to three hours on Monday-Fridays and four hours on Saturdays. Stations had the choice of airing one weekday hour in the morning and two hours in the afternoon, or all three at the same time in the morning or afternoon.

This was because some stations had morning newscasts. In 1995 and early 1996 Fox acquired three former ABC affiliates and Savoy/Fox acquired three former NBC affiliates and an ABC affiliate. Those stations all had evening newscasts, but wanted to continue to have regular syndicated programming to lead into the news instead of cartoons,so they would run Fox Kids an hour earlier in the afternoon from 1-4 p.m.

In 1996, Fox Kids merged with Haim Saban's Saban Entertainment to form Fox Kids Worldwide. Some of this programming also aired on Fox Family Channel (now ABC Family).

In 1998,Fox bought out their affiliates' interest in Fox Kids as part of a deal to help pay for the network's pricey NFL football package. The Fox Kids programming weekday block was trimmed to 2 hours.

In 2000, affiliates were all given options to push the block up to 2-4 p.m. instead of 3-5 p.m.. In the 6 or so markets with 5 p.m. newscasts that carried Fox Kids,were running the block an hour early. Some affiliates would even tape delay the block to air between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m., one of the lowest-rated time periods on US television.

By 2001, Fox stations felt they were on much more even footing with "The Big Three" networks and wanted to take back the Fox Kids programming blocks to air their own programming. Saturday mornings had become a liability as the other networks started to extend their weekday morning show franchises to the weekends,and the local Fox stations wanted to start Saturday morning newscasts, owing to the cultural change of Saturday becoming the theoretical "sixth weekday".

Mina: Now that just sucks.

Fox Kids was the #1 kids network since 1992,but was overtaken by Kids' WB years later with the stronger animated block backed by Warner Bros. and containing Pokémon as well Yu-Gi-Oh!. ABC aired mostly comical cartoons, with the exception of Lizzie McGuire and Even Stevens, which were sitcoms aimed at teenagers, while CBS aired preschool programming from Nick Jr., and NBC was airing E/I programming from Discovery Kids, splintering the audience.

Mina: Now,keep in mind,NBC and CBS's block were Not concidered True Saturday Morning blocks. they mare air on Saturday,but they lack the feel of true Sasturday Morning blocks.

*audience cheers*

The added factor of Nickelodeon's aggressive schedule that out-rated all the broadcast networks among children on Saturday mornings left Fox Kids behind, and the programmers could find no way to catch up and stand out in this crowded field.

Mina: This is when Nick was still good.

After Fox Family Worldwide was sold to Disney in July 2001, Fox Kids was placed under the oversight of Fox Television Entertainment and moved to the Fox headquarters on the 20th Century Fox lot. Soon after,Fox discontinued their daytime children's block,giving the time back to their affiliates.

Fox put their programming up for bidding and 4Kids Entertainment won.

*croud jeers*

Fox Kids maintained a Saturday morning-only schedule until September 14, 2002, when it gave the time to 4Kids Entertainment. The block was renamed FoxBox and then in January 2005,it was renamed to 4Kids TV. 4Kids TV lasted until 2008,when Fox and 4Kids parted ways. Today,Fox no longer broadcasts children's programming.

Mina: While,Fox Kids was ending,Disney instituted a two-hour morning lineup on its newly acquired ABC Family, programmed similarly to Fox Kids. Internationally, Fox Kids continued to air under the same name, despite its new Disney ownership.

It wasn't until 2005 that Disney unveiled its new brand name for action and adventure programming, Jetix. The new name was applied first on the ABC Family morning block and a prime-time lineup on Toon Disney. Today,Jetix and Toon Disney are both dead.

Disney now holds the rights to nearly all of the Fox Family/Saban archives under Disney-ABC Domestic Television, including Digimon, The Tick, Eek! Stravaganza, and the Marvel animated titles. Though,there are several exceptions:

-In May 2010, Haim Saban repurchased the Power Rangers franchise.

-Bobby's World was co-produced by Film Roman, and as such, TV rights belong to Disney, but home media rights are owned by Starz.

-The Goosebumps TV series, which aired on Fox Kids from 1995 to 1998, is owned by Scholastic,with video rights licensed to Fox.

-The Warner Bros. produced series are still under Warner Brothers ownership. They also own Tom & Jerry Kids.

Mina: We will never forget the greatness that was Fox Kids. For little over a decade,they have provided us with awesome entertainment. Fox Kids you are Missed.

*croud applauds*

That concludes this lesson. Thank you all for joining me tonight and hope you enjoy the rest of the Con. Good-Night everyone.

Mina: Peace Out.

*the croud applauds as stefan and mina leave the stage*

*fades to black,credits roll*

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Retro Con 2011 Day 2: TCH Lesson 29: ABC Kids

*It's day 2 of Retro Con,the Tetrad are inside the Con in the main convention room,which hasn't gotten too crouded yet. and the Only 3 celebs that are around are Master Splinter from the Mirage TMNT Comic,Axl from Mega Man X,Wrestler Brutus Beefcake,and Will Fiedel of Boy Meets World. Though a lot more fans and celebs will show up later.*

Welcome everyone to Day 2 of Retro Con 2011. I'm Stefan,the Cartoon Historian,along with Mina,Adult Gohan,and of course the one and only Sailor Moon.

Mina: The fun continues today and I'm gonna go buy some more Anime DVD,cuz I got some spare money left over.

Gohan: My dad will be in this very room signing autographs later,as will Krillin.and like i stated yesterday,Bulma and Vegeta will be joining us tomorrow.

Sailor Moon: So far Al Khan is a No show,despite rumors of him being here.

If he tries Anything,he'll pay in more ways than one. This isn't exactly a '4Kids friendly' place.

Mina: Anyway,right behind us is a low turnout,but it will definatly get flooded later today.

Gohan*checks watch*: Well it's still 11:30pm. lotsa people sleep in on Saturday.

Sailor Moon: So,Cartoon Historian,what lesson are you gonna give us tonight?

Tonight it'll be all about ABC Kids. Unfortunatly,ABC and Ditzney have failed miserably with this block. I mean for years this SatAM block has been nothing short of Pathetic!

Sailor Moon: I liked 'One Saturday Morning' Better.

Mina: For me,I just ignored ABC on Saturday Mornings in the 90's and just watched either Kids WB or Fox Kids. Though mostly Kids WB.

Gohan: I watched Fox Kids Alot when I was young. On Saturdays and Sundays,Mom let me taked a break from studing.

*Dan Hibiki and The Real Jackie Chan enter,croud cheers*

Hey,it's Dan Hibiki and Action Movie Star Jackie Chan. Wow,I did Not expect Jackie Chan to be here.

Mina: at least not the Real one.

Gohan: There are 2?

Yeah,the Real One that's here Now and the Cartoon one,the star of Jackie Chan adventures. Hulk Hogan,Mr.T,and Chuck Norris also have Animated versions of them.

Sailor Moon: So what's up for today?

Retro Con has an Arcade made up of our old favorites,like Street Fighter II Champion Edition,Mortal Kombat,and even Pac-Man. We can go there.

Sailor Moon: Cool.

Gohan: I wonder if they have Killer Instinct? I lost my N64 copy years ago and I miss playing that game.

Maybe.

Mina: if we're gonna go to the Arcades,we gotta do it now,otherwise it's gonna be incredibly crouded and all the good games will be taken.

Point taken.

Mina: Great,let's go.

*the triad head for The Arcade section of the Con. it's pretty much empty,only a few people are there..including Original Toon Michaelangelo,Wrestler Shawn Michaels,Ryan Drummond,and Cartoon Ken Masters,who are playing the 1st TMNT arcade game*

Good thing we got here early.

Mina: Cool. Lots of Arcade games.

Sailor Moon: So little time.

Look who's playing the Ninja Turtle game. It's Michelangelo from the Original Ninja Turtles Cartoon.

Mina: Wrestler and former 3x WWE Champion "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels.

Gohan: Ryan Drummond former voice actor for Sonic.

Sailor Moon: And Ken Masters from the Street Fighter Animated series.

Mina: So,what now? Play Video Games or Interview these guys?

We'll wait to interview these Celebs,besides they look too busy for an interview. but,if we catch them later,we'll talk with them.

Sailor Moon: I wonder if my Arcade game is here?

Unlikely,Moon Girl. Since the game never made it to the US. Same with Dragon Ball Z. But,I see Street Fighter II: Champion Edition,as well as Mortal Kombat.

Mina: I see Pac-Man and King of the Monsters. Hey look,Gohan,Killer Instinct!

Gohan: Great,I'm gonna go play it. *runs toward the Killer Instinct Machine*

I also see the very first King of Fighters game as well as Fatal Fury 2 Special.

Mina: Whoa,a Players Choice 10 Machine. I'm gonna go play that. I love the NES. *mina runs toward the PC10 machine*

I can't believe those still exist,I was sure Nintendo scraped them.

Sailor Moon: Yeah. Lotta Fighting and Beat'em-Ups here.

Yeah,hey there's a Super Puzzle Fighter game,wanna play?

Sailor Moon: sure.

*both sailor moon and stefan head for the super puzzle fighter machine.An hour later,stefan is with HBK himself*

I'm here with Shawn Michaels,the Icon,the Showstoppa,the Main Event. So HBK,what brings you to Retro Con?

Shawn: Well,I've been a fan of the classics for a while and I thought it would be a Kick to attend this thing and so far I'm having an awesome time and have met some damn cool guys.

So do you think you'll attend next year?

Shawn: Sure,why the hell not. I brought my family here too,they're back at the Hotel.

Awesome. Well thank you HBK,and enjoy the rest of the Con.

*stefan and hbk shake hands*

Shawn: You bet.

*Hours later,the main convention room is even more full,with lots of celebs. Sailor Moon is at a booth,where Lucy Lawless aks Xena and She-Ra are signing autographs*

Sailor Moon: I'm here with 2 of the Greatest ladies Ever. Lucy Lawless of the hit show Xena and my personal Hero,She-Ra. Let me be just say,It's an extreme honor to be talking to you.

Lucy: Well,it's nice to meet you too.

She-Ra: The pleasure is ours. It's nice to finally meet my bigest fan and the legendary Sailor Moon.

Sailor Moon: You flatter me. So what brings you 2 to Retro Con?

Lucy: Well,we're here for our fans,I don't get to see my fans that much anymore,so I decided to come.

She-Ra: Same here. I adore the She-Ravers and they've waited so long to meet me in person.

Sailor Moon: Super. Well,I think I should let you guys get back to autograph signing. *shakes the hands of both ladies* Thank you for your time. *she-ra gives sailor moon her autograph* Awesome,thanks She-Ra.

She-Ra: You're welcome. And later,I'm gonna get you're autograph,

Sailor Moon: Way Cool.

*Gohan is at another booth,where Krillin and Goku are signing autographs*

Goku: So what's up Gohan?

Gohan: I'm here to interview you.

Goku: Oh?

Gohan: So,how are you guys enjoing Retro Con,so far?

Goku: It's fantastic,though I forgot that we had so many fans.

Krillin: It's great to be loved.

Gohan: Well,Dragon Ball Z Is the most popular Anime in America.

Krillin: True That!

Gohan: Did you guys get a chance to meet other celebs here?

Krillin: We met a couple. We saw Bill Cosby staying awhile ago back at the hotel.

Goku: Sp;eaking of which,we got 2 of the 4 remaining rooms.

Gohan: So Mom and 18 are here?

Krillin: ChiChi and Goten are,but 18 isn't into this stuff. So she decided to stay home with Marron. I'm here with Master Roshi,who's now out looking for hot girls.

Goku: He's gonna get banged up by all of those girls,I'll bet.

Gohan: We now go to Mina,who's on standing by with the Kongs.

*Mina is with legendary game icon,Donkey Kong the 1st aka Cranky Kong and his son Donkey Kong Jr.,father of this Generations Donkey Kong (DK)*

Mina: I'm here with the Kongs,Cranky and Jr. So how does it feet to be among your fans,pretty good I'll bet?

Cranky: These people are Not my fans,they are my Gransons. These people only know me as the whiney Old Chimp from Donkey Kong Country. And Not the Original Donkey Kong...the one who Saved Nintendo back in the 80's. That's some gratitude fotr ya. You save the greatest Game company ever,and people just forget that you ever did such a thing.

Jr: Well at least you Are recognized,Pop. People have completly forgotten about me. If it wasn't for Me,this generations Donkey Kong wouldn't even exist.

Mina: Like father like son,I guess. Thank you for your time guys.

*Many Hours later inside the convention auditorium,an announcer is at a podeum (with a mike on it) on stage infront of thousands of people..including celebs*

Announcer: Goodevening Retroheads to day 2 of Retro Con 2011.

*audience cheers*

Announcer: We have a great show for you tonight. Starting with the one and only..Cartoon Historian. Followed by a mini-concert by the Misfits and the Comedy stylings of Beetlejuice. So please give a warm welcome to the Cartoon Historian and his assisatait,Mina.

*croud cheers as Stefan and Mina walk onstage and take the podeum. the announcer leaves*

Stefan: Thanks,everyone. Welcome to another Edition to The Cartoon Historian,tonight we will be talking about ABC Kids.

*applause*

ABC Kids was a Saturday Morning Block on ABC and was once known as One Saturday Morning. Although Disney's One Saturday Morning started in 1997, it was formerly ABC Saturday Morning, airing ReBoot, Schoolhouse Rock!, The Mighty Ducks, Disney's Doug and Gargoyles.

Sometime around 1997, Peter Hastings,the creator and excutive producer of "One Saturday Morning",who once wrote for Animaniacs,left the show in order to produce cartoons for Disney and ABC. ABC was told by Michael Eisner to create a Saturday morning block that was different from the rest at the time. They asked Hastings to do it.

Mina: In February of 1997,Peter Hastings pledged the idea that Saturday is different from every other day and to represent weekdays as buildings. He also proposed the use of virtual set technology; Although he knew little about it at the time and the technology used was just starting development.

Mina: Disney and ABC liked the idea. He hired Prudence Fenton as Consultant Manger and Co-Executive Producer. Together they sampled virtual set technology at NAB 1997 and chose technology developed by Accom and ELSET. Rutherford Bench Productions,which had previously worked with Disney,hired Pacific Ocean Post to produce the virtual set.

Mina: The building was initially a drawing of Grand Central Station with a roller coaster but evolved into a towering mechanical one. Even the interior has similarities such as a central high raise room with two wings on left and right sides and another on the south side.

And that my dear friends is how the OSM intro came to be.

*applause*

On September 13, 1997, Disney's One Saturday Morning made its debut and was a 3 hour block on the ABC Saturday Morning lineup. Here's a nice little tidbit for you:

Apparently OSM was gonna debut on September 6th of that year,but due to ABC and all the other networks airing Princess Diana's funeral that day, It was pushed back a week later. In 1999 it was extended to 5 hours.

Mina: On September 6, 1999 Disney's One Too,a spin-off of OSM,aired on UPN every weekday afternoon and Sunday mornings. Don't ya just wish Sunday Morning entertainment still existed.

*cheers*

One Saturday Morning's las Harrah was on September 7, 2002. Since Fox Kids was bought by Disney,4Krap Entertainment took over that block as "Fox Box" and Disney changed the block from Disney's One Saturday Morning to ABC Kids.

*jeers*

It also should be noted that the 2 Blocks changed on the exact same day. Anyway,During the Blocks introduction,as well as other introductions on the block,a tiny lightbulb icon would appear in a bottom corner of the screen and an announcer would say, "Illuminating Television," Remember that?

Mina: This meant that the block's educational shows were about to start.

The lightbulb's chain would be pulled by a hand,and the lightbulb would have an animation. The lightbulb icon continued to be used after the switch to ABC Kids until 2004, when it was replaced by a mortarboard hat that says "e/i" on it and an ABC logo that jumps to the top of the screen to wear said hat.

When One Saturday Morning was rebranded as ABC Kids in 2002,The block started airing Disney Channel Shows. Today,they air nothing but reruns of said shows,including Hannah Montana.

*jeers*

Mina: Death To Iger! Death To The Diz!

*cheers*

With the rise of the FCC's federally-mandated E/I programming guidelines,some of the network's affiliate groups,primarily Hearst Television and Allbritton Communications,refused to carry any show that did not fulfill the E/I requirements in order to free up time to air locally produced programming.

Mina: So,today,before the Block begins,you are "treated" to a Saturday edition of Good Morning America.

Not counting the annual changes to Power Rangers, the block has not refreshed its schedule since the 2006-2007 television season,making it the only SatAM block to not order new shows for its line-up.

Mina: And Thats just one of the many reasons why ABC Kids Sucks!

*cheers and applause*

On May of this year,ABC announced that it had reached a deal with broadcast production company,Litton Entertainment to produce original content for the Saturday morning block. The ABC Weekend Adventure block will launch on September 3rd of this year...replacing ABC Kids.

Mina: Though I doubt that'll help them.

It won't because,from what I've heard,it's a purely Educational Block.

Mina: God Damn FCC!

OSM may be gon,but it will never be forgotten.

*cheers and applause*

Mina: Amen!

Well that's it for tonight. I'd like to thank all of you for joining me and hope you'll join me again for the final night of the Convention when I talk about Fox Kids. Good night everyone and thanks Again.

Mina: Laters.

*the croud applauds as stefan and mina leave the stage*

*fades to black,credits roll*

Friday, July 8, 2011

Retro Con 2011 Day 1: TCH Lesson 28: Kids WB

*It's a beautiful breezy and sunny summer afternoon in New York City.Stefan the Cartoon Historian,Mina,Adult Gohan,and Sailor Moon are in front of MSG,where the Annual 'Retro Con',a convention for old school characters from all forms of entertainment and their fans. This convention is really loved by all fans of Old School Entertainment. And you can easily tell this because the place is pact,people are everywhere*

Welcome everyone,Welcome to Madison Square Garden where for 3 whole days will be housing the 2nd Annual Retro Con. Where Old School fans get to Meet and greet their childhood heroes...among other things. I'm Stefan the Cartoon Historian,and this is Mina,Gohan,and Sailor Moon.

Mina: I can't believe we missed the first Con last year.

I was too busy to go. that shouldn't matter,because we're here at the Con now.

Gohan: My Dad's here as well. Can't wait to see him.

Sailor Moon: There is just Soooo many things to do here in just 3 days. So much to do so little time.

She-Ra will be here on Sunday,maybe you can get an autograph?

Sailor Moon: Oh Yeah!

Mina: So Stefan,what's the plan?

Well,while you guys have your fun,I've got work. I'll be giving History Lessons infront of a Massive Audience at this Con. Tonight,I'll be Kids WB. Tomorrow I'll be teaching about ABC Kids,and on Sunday night,I'll wrap things up by teaching about Fox Kids.

Gohan: Cool. Will you be speaking on stage at a podium like all the other lecturers?

Yup in front of a wide audience..including some Cartoon and Anime Celebs. You'll be surprised how many Anime characters like the Cartoon Historian.

Mina: Ok,enough talk. Let's start this thing.

Sailor Moon: Yeah,let's go in and have some fun.

Sure why not,maybe I'll buys some things as well.

*Minutes Later,the Tetrad are inside the Con and it is Crouded.*

Damn. Lots of people.

Mina: Who knew that this convention was this popular.

Gohan: There must be 800,000 people here.

I have some time before my Lecture. What do you guys wanna do first? I'm open for suggetions.

Sailor Moon: Shopping and Lunch

Mina: Celeb Meet and Greet

Gohan: Tracking down my dad. He and Krillin are here. Vegeta and Bulma will be here on Sunday.

The featured Retro Movie: Ghostbusters 2 is gonna be starting in a half-hour,wanna go get some snacks at the snack bar and watch it?

Mina: Y'know I heard a rumor that Al Khan is here.

He probaly heard of my Saturday Morning Block Lessons and is here to protest and heckle me. He knows damn well that hes Organization,4Kids Entertainment destroyed Saturday Morning TV and I'll bet he'll try to discredit me and the facts.

Sailor Moon: 4Kids is Crap.

Gohan: Yeah,I mean look what they did to Dragon Ball Z Kai.

Mina: 4Kids Screws Kids

Ok,thats enough,It's very disrespectful to diss the dying.

Mina: guess your right. 4Kids is on it's last legs.

Ok,lets go get some snackage and see that movie.

Sailor Moon: Ya-Ta!!

*Soon after getting snacks the tetrad goes to see the movie. after the movie,the Tetrad goes get lunch at a nearby fast food place and then goes back to the convention to do some shopping. Sailor Moon bought some key chains,Gohan bought some comic books for Goten,Mina bought some retro Anime DVD's,and Stefan bought some old Sega Genesis games. The tetrad also each bought a tee-shirt*

I can't believe they were asking 15 bucks a piece for tee-shirts. Sailor Moon,could you and Gohan take these bags back to our Hotel Rooms? No sence carring them around all day.

Gohan: Sure

*Stefan and Mina give their shoping bags to Gohan and Sailor Moon*

Sailor Moon: We'll see you in a bit.

*Sailor Moon and Gohan leave with bags in hand*

Oh let me explain something We rented 2 hotel Rooms,one for Me and Gohan and one for Mina and Sailor Moon.

Mina: Getting those rooms wasn't easy,they were 2 of the 4 last available rooms. And we're staying a pretty big hotel. Anyway,Hey Stefan,lets go hunt down Celebs.

Sure,but only for a hour,I gotta prepare for tonights lesson.

*the 2 head into the main convention room and see it packed with people and celebs(both fictional and non-fictional) of the 70's,80's,and 90's.*

*at a booth,where Skeletor and Hordak are signing autographs*

We are here right now with the Retro He-Man Villains,Hordack and Skeletor.

Skeletor: Ah,the Famous Cartoon Historian. So I here you're gonna be teaching about the 3 Big Saturday Morning Blocks? Good,this generation needs a lesson on how Great Saturday Morning TV were. As much as I sympathize with 4Kids,I really don't like the current state of Saturday Mornings.

Hordack: Crappy,they are Crappy. I miss my Saturday Morning shows. I used to love watching Carmen Sandiego as well as Captain N: The Game Master.

Skeletor: I kinda liked watching Ninja Turtles. That Shredder was great. Oh,keep what we told you under your hat..or else!

Mina: You got it.

*15 minutes later,Gohan and Sailor Moon join up with Stefan and Mina,who are each holding autograph pics of various celebs*

Gohan: So did you guys see my dad?

Nope.

Gohan: *sighs* I guess I'll have to catch him later.

Sailor Moon: Hey,we ran into He-Man and Jaleel White at the hotel and I got their autographs. I put them in my room.

Mina: That's cool. Hey,we got autographs too. I got autograph pictures of Hordack and Skeletor(shows the pics),Jimmie "J.J." Walker (shows the pic).

Sailor Moon: Dy-No-Mite!

Mina: And Mr.T (shows pic).

Sailor Moon: Cool.

I got one of Chuck Norris,as well as Hordack and Skeletor.I may get more later,but right now I gotta get back to the hotel to prepare my Lesson.

Mina: This Early!?

Yeah,I'm gonna be preparing all 3,so tommorow,I can chillax at the Convention with you guys.

Gohan: Awesome,I'll help you out.

Great,let's go. Have fun girls.

Mina and Sailor Moon: We will.

*stefan and gohan leave*

*Hours later inside the convention auditorium,an announcer is at a podeum (with a mike on it) on stage infront of thousands of people..including celebs*

Announcer: I hope ya'll are having an Awesome time here at Retro Con 2011?

*audience cheers*

Announcer: Anyway,please Welcome,Stefan,the Cartoon Historian and his Assistant Mina.

*croud cheers as Stefan and Mina walk onstage and take the podeum. the announcer leaves*

Stefan: Thanks,everyone. Welcome to this Edition to The Cartoon Historian,tonight we will be talking about Kids WB.

*applause*

Kids' WB was a weekday afternoon and Saturday morning cartoon block broadcast on The WB Television Network. In September 2006, the block moved to The CW Television Network. The CW is the result of The WB's merger with UPN in 2006. Kids' WB shut down on May 17, 2008, and was sold to 4Kids Entertainment to form The CW4Kids.

*audience jeers*

Mina: Damn Right!!!

Kids' WB was re-launched as an online network on April 28, 2008, a few weeks before it was replaced by The CW4Kids. The network allows viewers to watch shows of Looney Tunes, Hanna-Barbera and DC Comics.

*cheers*

Kids' WB debuted on The WB on Saturday, September 9, 1995, airing on Saturday mornings from 8:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. and weekdays from 4:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m.

Mina: On September 7, 1996, the Saturday block was extended by a full hour, airing from 8:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. and weekdays from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. Too cool.

On September 1, 1997, Kids' WB started airing weekday mornings at 7:00 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. in most markets. Some stations aired the weekday morning hour in conjunction with the weekday afternoon block, expanding it to three hours, from 2:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m.

In 1999, Kids' WB made a breakthrough when the English dub of the anime Pokémon by 4Kids Entertainment premiered. It was a big hit for its programming block,beating Fox Kids for a short while with its animated block backed by Warner Bros. In later years,other anime shows aired such as Cardcaptors,Yu-Gi-Oh!,Megaman NT Warrior,Viewtiful Joe,and Spider Riders.

Mina: In July of 2001, Kids' WB's afternoon lineup was rebranded "Toonami on Kids' WB" and was an extention of Cartoon Network's hit block.It even aired some of it's hit shows,like Sailor Moon and Dragon Ball Z. However,Toonami on KidsWB didn't last very long...only though that summer.

On September 7, 2001, Kids' WB ditched thier weekday morning block and gave the slot to the local affiliates. On January 6, 2006, the weekday afternoon Kids' WB block was dropped "at the request of the local affiliates", replaced by Daytime WB.

*croud jeers*

I know,I know, But a result,the Saturday morning block was extended by an hour running from 7:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m..

But now we get to one of the stupidest things The WB has done,take it Mina.

Mina: Yes. On January 24, 2006, The WB announced they would merge with UPN to form The CW Television Network. Even though the KidsWB name was kept,the block got a major change. As only 10% of the cartoons were from WB. while the rest were either Canadian garbage or Anime.

But the worst was yet to come. On October 2, 2007, the network announced that due to a joint decision between Warner Bros. and CBS,it would suspend the Kids' WB programming block due to the effects of children's advertising limits and cable competition. soon after the decision,theyh stupidly sold the block to 4Kids Entertainment. And on May 17, 2008,KidsWB was no more.

Mina: Holy Nightmare,Cartoon Historian! On May 24, 2008, 4Kids launched The CW4Kids in place of Kids' WB. The lineup for the block consisted of 4Kids produced shows such as Chaotic (a shitty canadian show which rips-off both yu-gi-oh! and digimon season 4) as well as seasons of Yu-Gi-Oh! and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

But,there is some good news,On April of 2008, Warner Bros. Entertainment announced that The Kids' WB brand would be relaunched as an online network.

*cheers*

Mina: Yes,so it's a lone survivor of 4Kraps Saturday Morning bastardization.

Well that's it for tonight. I'd like to thank you for joining me and hope you'll join me again tomorrow night when I talk about ABC Kids. Good night everyone and thanks Again.

Mina: Bye-Bye.

*the croud applauds as stefan and mina leve the stage*

*fades to black,credits roll*