Monday, January 23, 2012

Mina's Special

*The Star Nexus is hovering over Earth. Scene Transitions into Tom's Quarters,where Tom Z is sitting at a computer checking his e-mail.*

Tom Z: Look at all this mail. *sighs* My entire Inbox is backlogged. I really should log in to the Net more often. *sighs* ok,lets see what we got here. *looking at something along the line of 90+ messages,begins to read some of the titles* "Watch AnimeJason Act Like An Even Bigger Asshole","Make Your Balls Grow","Make Trillions of Dollars The Easy Way". *facepalm* Ugh! I really Really hate spam. Why the hell isn't my spam blocker working? Whatever! *deletes those 3 messages with no hesitation and continues reading* let's see, "Screw Your Wife and Her Lady Friends For Big Bucks" *very annoyed* Shit Again! *deletes message as well as other spam messages he finds* *sighs* I think that's the last of the Spam. *continues to read the message titles* Ah,here's a good one.

Mina Enters.

Mina: Hey Tom. Whatcha dooin'?

Tom Z: I'm looking at my E-Mail.

Mina: Whoa! That's a lot of E-Mail. Y'know you really should log on to the Net more.

Tom Z: Don't I know. Anyway,I got an E-Mail from Stefan. I was just about to read it too.

Mina: Sweet. I was wondering when we'd here from him. It's been weeks.

Tom Z: Yeah. *clicks on the e-mail and it opens,begins to read* "Hey Tom,Hey Mina." Loos like he sent it to both of us.

Mina: I got the same mail. Didn't get a chance to read it yet.

Tom Z: Anyway *continues to read* "Sorry for not tending to The Cartoon Historian in awhile,I've been really busy and have been fighting off a cold to boot.However,I've prepared some stuff for you guys to cover. I've posted the topics on the website,so choose and cover. I'll hopefully will return before the end of the month. I'll also be bringing a special surprise. gotta get back to work now. Stay Gold Guys"

Mina: A Surprise,huh? I wonder what he's gonna bring.

Tom Z: Knowing Him,it might be something good. I'll answer this mail later.In the meantime,I'm gonna read more mail. You can go now. a Ma-er,bot's E-Mail is for his eyes only.

Mina: Gotcha. I'll be in the Enteroom watching TV.

Mina Leaves.

Tom Z: Now then *continues to read the message titles* Here's one from an old friend "Wazzup!" *clicks on mail and reads it when it opens*

Meanwhile,Mina is in the ships Entertainment Center,called the Enteroom,watching TV.

Mina: *flipping through channels* Even in space,there's nothing good on. *sighs as she shuts off TV with remote* I'm so bored. *thinking* Hey,I know. *gets up and leaves for the master control room*

Mina enters the master control room and activates live the video feed.

Mina: Ok. Here we go. *to one of the cameras* Welcome To The Cartoon Historian,I'm your host Mina.

5 Hours Later. Tom Z enters the control room.

Tom Z: *sighs* Time to prepare for the Next Cartoon Historian. *notices a blu-ray disk on the control panel with a small post-it note by it* What the...? *picks up the disk and the note.* It's from Mina. *reads* "Yo Tom,made something that both you and Stefan will love. Watch the Blu-Ray to find out what. - Mina! P.S. Show this to Stefan." *sighs* lets see what she has cooked up..crazy girl. *puts the disk into the Main Consoles Blu-Ray Player*

THe Main Moniter displays Mina's live broadcast.

Tom Z: What the..?

Mina*on the moniter*: Welcome To The Cartoon Historian,I'm your host Mina. Today we are gonna bring you a small,but enjoyable Special. A Special I call: 'Xena,Sailor Moon,Wonder Woman,She-Ra: The Amazing Similarities'

Tom Z: Inrteresting *sits in a chair and watches*

Mina*on the moniter*: We'll begin by talking about Similarities between All 4 Women. Then I'll do 1-on-1 Comparisons.

Mina: Ok. Now,Xena Sailor Moon,Wonder Woman,and She-Ra are Warriors who weild special weapons to battle evil. Xena has her Chakram,Sailor Moon has her Wands,Wonder Woman has her Lasso,and She-Ra Has Her Sword of Protection. They are also quite leggy and eye candy for the guys *chuckles* And finally,they All Kick Ass.

Mina: Yup that's it for the similarities between all 4 women. Now lets compare 2. Sailor Moon and Wonder Woman are both Princesses with ties to the Moon. Sailor Moon is the princess of the Moon and Diana is named after the Moon Goddess of Greek Mythology.

Mina: Speaking of which,both of them are princesses. And both have heroic male allies who star in their series' "Brother Series". Goku and Superman respectively. Yeah,I know Sailor Moon and Dragon Ball Z never "officially" crossed over,but they did thousands of times in Fan Fics.

Mina: Also,Both of these men possess similar abilities. both ladies fight on teams. The Sailor Senshi and Justice League respectively. And finally,both possess a secret "civilian" Identity. Sarena/Usagi Tsukino and Diana Prince respectively. Now lets compare Xena and She-Ra.

Mina: For starters both have wear similar looking outfits. Next,they both ride horses that are beloved by them. Argo and Swiftwind respectively. Both ladies are the stars of their own series that are spin-offs of their respective "Brother series"(hercules and he-man). Their male counterparts both possess awesome psychical strength And are both considered to be the Strongest Man alive. And on top of that both Hercules and He-Man have both guest starred in their respective "Sister Series"

Mina: Both have 2 bitter recurring enemies. Ares and Hordak respectively. Both live in medieval lands and were once evil. They also fight with Swords. I guess that's all for these 2. Now let's compare Xena and Sailor Moon. Both women have great friends and a rogues gallery of super villians. I can't think of any more similarities between the 2 other then the fact that they have "Brother Series" (hercules and dragon ball z respectively),who's main heroes are super strong.

Mina: Anyway,lets move on to Wonder Woman and Xena. Both have a serious attitude and have black hair. They have male allies that are super strong. Both are amazon-esque and are very good at some form of Martial Art. They also have a themes and villians that are greco-roman. Especially Xena,because y'know,she's from those times.

Mina: Next up,Wonder Woman and She-Ra. Both are princesses with allies who possess super strength. Superman and He-Man. Both have serious attitudes...though she-ra is more fun loving. Both also have a "civilian" identity. Diana Prince and Princess Adora respectively.

Mina: I guess that's it for these 2. Lets move on to our final Diva Duo. Sailor Moon and She-Ra are not only henshin heroines that fight for love and justice,but both are blonde Princesses. They have "Brother Series" where the main hero is the Strongest Man Alive (goku and he-man respectively). They each have Male back up heroes that double as love interests. Tuxedo Mask and Bow respecively.

Mina: Both have an awesome kick. Also,both fight evil aliens along side some great friends. And finally they have "civilian" identities (sarena/usagi tsukino and princess adora).

Mina: And there you have it. Hope you guys enjoyed my little special look at the Similarities between 4 Awesome Heroines. I gotta go,but thanks again for tuning in. See ya next time on The Cartoon Historian. Bye.

The Screen goes static and the scene transitions back to Tom.

Tom Z: Interesting little show. *gets up and ejects the disk out of the player* Stefan would definatly like this. I think Mina has proved that she could host a show all by herself. *starts to walk away as the scene transitions to space. The Star Nexus zooms off*

Monday, January 16, 2012

The Ultimate Boss: Line-Up For Disney XD

And Now My Line-Up for Disney XD!

Here's what I plan to air on the Weekdays:
12:00 am - Gargoyles
12:30 am - Gargoyles
1:00 am - X-Men Evolution
1:30 am - X-Men Evolution
2:00 am - Spider-Man Unlimited
2:30 am - Spider Man Unlimited
3:00 am - Off Air
3:30 am - Off Air
4:00 am - Off Air
4:30 am - Off Air
5:00 am - Off Air
5:30 am - Off Air
6:00 am - Pokemon
6:30 am - Pokemon
7:00 am - Pucca
7:30 am - Pucca
8:00 am - Kickin' It
8:30 am - Kick Butowski
9:00 am - Zeke and Luthor
9:30 am - I'm In The Band
10:00 am - That's So Raven
10:30 am - That's So Raven
11:00 am - Cory in The House
11:30 am - Cory in The House
12:00 pm - House of Mouse
12:30 pm - Lilo and Stich
1:00 pm - Phineas and Ferb
1:30 pm - Phineas and Ferb
2:00 pm - Duck Tales
2:30 pm - Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers
3:00 pm - Tail Spin
3:30 pm - American Dragon Jake Long
4:00 pm - Disney Action Block (Kim Possible)
4:30 pm - Disney Action Block (The Mighty Ducks)
5:00 pm - Disney Action Block (Darkwing Duck)
5:30 pm - Disney Action Block (Hercules)
6:00 pm - Disney Action Block (X-Men Evolution)
6:30 pm - Disney Action Block (Gargoyles)
7:00 pm - Aladdin
7:30 pm - Aladdin
8:00 pm - The Little Mermaid
8:30 pm - The Little Mermaid
9:00 pm - The Emperor's New School
9:30 pm - The Emperor's New School
10:00 pm - Bonkers
10:30 pm - Bonkers
11:00 pm - Kamen Rider: Dragon Knight
11:30 pm - Kamen Rider: Dragon Knight

And Now,here's what I plan to air on Saturdays:
12:00 am - Gargoyles
12:30 am - Gargoyles
1:00 am - American Dragon Jake Long
1:30 am - American Dragon Jake Long
2:00 am - Dave The Barbarian
2:30 am - Dave The Barbarian
3:00 am - Off air
3:30 am - Off Air
4:00 am - Off Air
4:30 am - Off Air
5:00 am - Off Air
5:30 am - Off Air
6:00 am - Timon and Pumbaa
6:30 am - Timon and Pumbaa
7:00 am - The Legend of Tarzan
7:30 am - The Legend of Tarzan
8:00 am - Marvel Morning Madness (The Avengers [the 90's show])
8:30 am - Marvel Morning Madness (Fantastic 4 [the 90's show])
9:00 am - Marvel Morning Madness (Silver Surfer)
9:30 am - Marvel Morning Madness (The Hulk [the 90's show])
10:00 am - Marvel Morning Madness (Iron Man [the 90's show])
10:30 am - Marvel Morning Madness (X-Men)
11:00 am - Marvel Morning Madness (Spider-Man: The Animated Series)
11:30 am - Marvel Morning Madness (Ultimate Spiderman)
12:00 pm - Marvel Morning Madness (Avengers:Worlds Mightiest Heroes)
12:30 pm - Marvel Morning Madness (Marvel Universe/Marvel Mash-Up)
1:00 pm - American Dragon: Jake Long 
1:30 pm - Kick Buttowski
2:00 pm - Kickin' It
2:30 pm - Phineas and Ferb  
3:00 pm - The Saturday Movie Double Feature (movie #1)
3:30 pm - The Saturday Movie Double Feature (movie #1)
4:00 pm - The Saturday Movie Double Feature (movie #1)
4:30 pm - The Saturday Movie Double Feature (movie #1)
5:00 pm - The Saturday Movie Double Feature (movie #2)
5:30 pm - The Saturday Movie Double Feature (movie #2)
6:00 pm - The Saturday Movie Double Feature (movie #2)
6:30 pm - The Saturday Movie Double Feature (movie #2)
7:00 pm - The Proud Family
7:30 pm - So Random
8:00 pm - My Baby Sitters a Vampire
8:30 pm - The Emperor's New School
9:00 pm - Buzz Lightyear Of Star Command
9:30 pm - Shego
10:00 pm - Heroes of Late Night (Megaman NT Warrior)
10:30 pm - Heroes of Late Night (Sailor Moon)
11:00 pm - Heroes of Late Night (Kim Possible)
11:30 pm - Heroes of Late Night (The Tick)

And Now,here's what I plan to air on Sundays:
12:00 am - Heroes of Late Night (Aaron Stone)
12:30 am - Heroes of Late Night (W.I.T.C.H.)
1:00 am - Heroes of Late Night (Spider-Man Unlimited)
1:30 am - Heroes of Late Night (Gargoyles)
2:00 am - Heroes of Late Night (V.R. Troopers)
2:30 am - Heroes of Late Night (Kamen Rider: Dragon Knight)
3:00 am - Off Air
3:30 am - Off Air
4:00 am - Off Air
4:30 am - Off Air
5:00 am - Off Air
5:30 am - Off Air
6:00 am - Phineas and Ferb
6:30 am - Phineas and Ferb
7:00 am - Bonkers
7:30 am - Bonkers
8:00 am - Digimon
8:30 am - Digimon
9:00 am - One Sunday Morning (Teamo-Supremo)
9:30 am - One Sunday Morning (The Replacements)
10:00 am - One Sunday Morning (Fillmore)
10:30 am - One Sunday Morning (Weekenders)
11:00 am - One Sunday Morning (Recess)
11:30 am - One Sunday Morning (Pepper Ann)
12:00 pm - One Sunday Morning (Mickey Mouse Works)
12:30 pm - One Sunday Morning (Squigglevision)
1:00 pm - Pucca
1:30 pm - Pucca
2:00 pm - So Random
2:30 pm - Kick Buttowski
3:00 pm - Dave The Barbarian
3:30 pm - Bobby's World
4:00 pm - Big Bad Beetleborgs
4:30 pm - W.I.T.C.H.
5:00 pm - Flint The Time Detective
5:30 pm - Mon Collie Knights
6:00 pm - Shinzo
6:30 pm - VR Troopers
7:00 pm - Emporer's New School
7:30 pm - Emporer's New School
8:00 pm - Goof Troop
8:30 pm - Goof Troop
9:00 pm - Quack Pack
9:30 pm - Quack Pack
10:00 pm - Mickey Mouse Works
10:30 pm - Mickey Mouse Works
11:00 pm - Bump In The Night
11:30 pm - Bump In The Night

Not bad for a starting line-up,huh? better than Anything Iger's Cronies can come up with.

Stay Gold.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

The Ultimate Boss: The Disney Channel and Disney XD

Welcome to another instalment of 'Ultimate Boss'. A segment that basically informs the viewers about how I would do things if I was the boss of,well....anything.

Today,I'll be focusing on Disney. Here are the main things wrong with them.

- They favor crappy shows almost 100% of the time.
- They stupidly gave Jetix control of Toon Disney (now Disney xd).
- Spitting on Mickey Mouse's legacy
- they Stupidly air Zack and Cody and Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney XDF (what retards!)
- They had a huge Hannah Montana love fest (thank god that show is over and hasn't been on since). Now that fetish has been replaced by a new fetish,A Zack and Cody one.
- Showing shitty and unneeded music videos
- Giving us shitty movies and shows.
- The Quality of their animated shows have taken a serious swan dive. I mean,take a look at their latest animated show,Fish Hooks. It's so putrid on so many levels. (would it kill them to make better animated shows?)
- Wasting the potential of Disney XD.
- Airing Pre-School Shows on the Weekends. Stupid!
- Like most Media Companies,all Disney cares about is themselves.

And Thats just the Major things they did Wrong. Here's a list of things that I would do to save Disney:

- First,I would establish a fierce rivalry with Nickelodeon and Nicktoons!
- I would throw out all of the crappy shows and replace them with better ones. So No More Zack and Cody,No More Wizards od Waverly Place,No More Teeny-Bopper Garbage.
- I'd try to have the company be abit more edgier when it comes to TV shows (though not too edgy..this is Disney afterall)
- I'd Revive the Disney Afternoon
- I'd create a REAL SatAM Block.
- I'd create a Late Night Action Show Block on Saturdays.
- I would give Mickey Mouse the respect that he deserves.
- I would abolish those wretched music videos.
- I'd have Better Shows created. Like Giving Shego her own.
- I'd air classic Anime and even have my own created.
- I'd secure the rights to air Sailor Moon. I may even Buy half the Franchise.
- I'd Let The Older Croud Have The Weekends and get rid of the Pre-School Blocks on Weekends.
- Speaking of Pre-School Block. I'd make the Block Shorter. Little Kids should NOT be watching 6-7 Hours of TV. The Block will be 3 Hours of Cool Kiddie Shows that I'd have create. It'll be called Diz Kidz.
- I'd Have Disney Jr. Turned into The Disney Movie Network. This Network will have Disney Movies and Specials.
- I'd issue an apology to all for my companies past errors and promise them that we'll never ever back stab them again.

Not bad,huh? i'll be posting the line-ups soon. In the meantime,check out my show ideas.
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Disney Show Ideas:

Shego: Takes place 4 Months after the Kim Possible Series Finale. After accidently getting arrested during her latest crime,Shego is offered an alternitive to her sentence by the Mayor of Middleton: Work for 'Global Justice' as an agent and it'll be concidered community service. He also wanrs Shego that if She tries anything crooked during that time,he'll be forced to quadruple her sentence and put a high price on her head. Shego reluctantly accepts.

Shego's hiring by Global Justice couldn't have come at a better time,because a new generation of Villains and Super Villains have begun appearing. With the aid of the Her cousin Lee (lee go)and the reformed Dr.Drakken,Shego is ready to tackle anything.
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Kingdom Hearts: The Series: The First of American Anime that I'd have Create for Disney,with help from Square/Enix. The Series will be a Retelling of the KH Games.
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Marvel Super Heroes: A Mini-Series Cronicaling the Origins and Adventures of Marvels Greatest Heroes.
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Marvel's Gem War: Another Marvel Cartoon that's loosely based on The 'War of the Gems' Comics (s well as the 90's video game).
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Disney All-Stars: A showcase of Newly Created Cartoons Stareing Our Favorite Disney Icons.
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Show's That I'd Aquire The Airing Rights For (or try to):

Kamen Rider: Dragon Knight
Sailor Moon
Mega Man: The Animated Series (aka ruby spears megaman)
Mega Man NT Warrior
Samurai Pizza Cats
Boy Meets World
Smart Guy
Sabrina: The Teenage Witch
Sister Sister
She-Ra: Princess of Power
He-Man And The Masters of The Universe
Masters of The Universe 2K2
Captain N: The Game Master
The 3 Sonic Cartoons (satam,aosth,and sonic underground)
The 3 Mario Cartoons (smbss,aosmb4,and smw)
The Legend of Zelda
The Real Ghostbusters
Extreme Ghostbusters
Street Fighter: The Animated Series
Mortal Kombat: Defenders of The Realm
Pokemon
Digimon
The Tick
Yu-Gi-Oh! (all 3 past series)
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Hope you enjoyed this edition of 'The Ultimate Boss'. Line-Up's Coming Shortly.

Stay Gold!